Keeping things alive.....

So, its been a while, but i guess its good because time seems to fly. I have been thinking lately that it is difficult to work in a world that is not perfect. While I know that this isnt a surprise, its just how life works. Why is it that when you try to do things which you believe to be good they come back to bite you in the ass. Its just seems that everything that I do is scrutinized to the most finite level and if there is just one thing out of place, then I am fucked. In some peoples eyes, they see this as a good thing....How so? You might ask. Well they believe that when someone is watched so closely its because they are being groomed, or pruned or whatever. In my mind its all bullshit. The way they see it is that if you are making mistakes then you are hurting their credibility. They begin to develope a "perception" about you. I hate the word perception. Its stupid, and its all subjective due to the fact that people basically assume, and we all know what assuming does. What they dont realize is that perceptions run both ways, its not just a trickle down effect. Nonetheless, I cant change how people are. I just need to figure out how to keep my head down and my mouth shut. I doubt it will happen but oh well......

The hurdles in life

So, today was not the best of days. Have you ever just had one where its going along fine and dandy and all those little nagging things that are in the back of your head come to the forefront and wont leave you alone? When it weighs like a brick on your mind and begins to make all things difficult? Today was that day and I was unable to control it. I dont like that fact that I cannot even control my own thoughts and emotions and that I am such a stupid fuck to be stressed about half this shit. I have a great job, a good family, and many great great friends to rely on. I have it all. I dont ask for monetary wealth or emotional pampering, but I do need the simple things in life. I cannot understand why no matter what I do it still seems to bend me over and screw me.

Have you also had a friend, who is a great great friend that listens and shares and you are practically brothers, and then not of his own accord, he has to hide something from you for a good reason. But he lies to your face to do it. When it all comes full circle it makes you feel happy for the final result but there is always the backstabbing feeling that he lied to you. I had that to add a cherry on my beautiful shit sundae.

Overall, this day has sucked. I am wanting to know if i will have a new job, I want for those that like to reciprocate, and I want things to be back to normal. I have not been able to say anything is fun anymore and I cannot deal with all the crap that comes to me on a daily basis. I good enough to do sup callback, technical questions, I can even handle other special projects but when it comes to my calls and my work ethic its apparently lacking some.

Perhaps its just me but I am just pissed and sad all in the same go. I have not felt like this in a very long time, and the fact that I was so upset that I actually cried is testiment to that fact. I have not done that in a long time. Enough of my tyrade and I apologize for anyone who had to sit through it all....

Such is life........

I have been wondering recently what things happen. You go through life as a child without a care in the world, well except I guess for school and stuff, and then in a flash its all over. You have to be a big kid. You have to get a job and be responsible and shit. In the end it gets old really quickly. As of late I have gone through some up and downs but overall it seems that things have worked out for the best, or atleast as good as they can be for now. Sometimes though you have to think about all that shit that rolls down hill. I have tried really hard lately to make the best of situations and to be a better person. I have really motivated myself to try harder at work and in my life, but still things seem to become all jacked up. I recently got Employee of the Quarter at work and i feel that i am acheiving the goals i have set for myself. Hopefully in the near future i will be moving on to bigger and better things here at Southwest. But life seems to still be all that much harder. Im working out but its taxing on me. I have also been trying to be more social since that seems to be alot of my root problem but it still is not necessarily working. Relationships are not easy and the one that I had been trying to make work seems to have fizzled before it even started. I dont know what to do at this point. I know things will get better but i guess i have alot of hard choices ahead of me. For the most part I guess this is what people go through on a normal basis. I have always been the one with a level head that friends come to talk to but it seems that lately im the one that is all off kilter. Can the world truly change that quickly around me or is it just me that is changing? Answers will come soon enough i guess.......

Why American TV sucks sometimes and other countries shows can get away with murder.........almost....

So around a year and a half ago i found a clip of a show on youtube that got me interested. It was about a teen drama set in the UK and it seemed like something that the CW would carry. I know, at this point you are probobly asking, what the hell is he doing watching some stupid sappy show that is for teens. Well i will have to stop you there, and the reason is because once i saw the first episode I was hooked. I can also say that the other people that I have turned on to this show have loved it and are now addicted as well.

When it comes to British television they are very liberal in their restrictions of what can and cannot be shown. In this show, which is broadcast on E4, the equivilent of a cable or satelite channel here in the states, it contains many issues that teens deal with such as sex, drugs, and school. The setting is College for the group and they are all taking their A-Levels. The gamut in which the characters portray is diverse. You have the popular guys, the pretty girls, slouchy sidekicks and different lifestyles. It does really give a look into a modern day teen life. Now i will say that most teens wouldn't have this much drama in their life much less a year but im sure that some folks have had hard times. But the show does touch on some serious issues set aside the drugs and underage sex that runs rampant in the series.

The first series of this show was a basic introduction to the characters. All in all there was Tony, Sid, Michelle, Jal, Chris, Maxxie, Anwar and Cassie. Each episode centers around a character and part of their story. It displays why they are who they are and gives insight to the deep characterization that the writers created. The way the series runs eventually builds to a more story based show than a character based show.

The second series debuted with rave reviews from the press and the public because of the cliff hanger ending that finalized the first season in all its glory. Having developed the character base from the first season the show was able to expound on the overall story and how the lives of the teens came to be and intertwined from that point on. This series was sad to say the least. It touches on issues that are less youth related and more adult related. This series really brought out the drama aspect of the show. It created a reason to love the characters.

At this point i know this is all just ramblings but it truly is a good show. The third series has just started and we need to see where it goes. I cant really give too much out because it would ruin everything. All i can say is WATCH IT....if you can. I know that it can be found on torrents but I also know that the first series has been released on DVD in the states. If you can get past the british accents and the sappy teen angst the stories are genuine and the series brings an old idea to the scene in a new way. Its edgy and definately not appropriate at most times but its real. Very few shows on TV are this legit.

The Big Small World I live in...........

I thought today about what I was going to write and I figured i would start with what's new.  Or i guess i should say with what has changed.  I have realized that life is a bigger picture than school or friends or jobs.  I think that everyone gets to a point in their life that they realize that we no longer follow the patterns set forth by "adults" or "the man" and we begin to make our own.  Its something that you don't realize happens and it doesn't happen over night.  Its a slow progress that occurs until one day its done and you view things completely different.  I would like to think that I am a pretty good judge of my surroundings and have always been level headed when interpreting life.  I also hope that I have made an impression on those that I care about and love.  If i have not then I think I have failed to meet my first goal in life.  

The second thing that I realized is that the people that you meet in life no matter how big or small of a role in your life they play, they will always leave something with you.  It is crazy how small of a world it really is.  For example, while i was interning at SWA I went with some friends to Disney in Orlando and while we were there it just so happened that one of the people that we were meeting was in class with me at UTA.  I had seen the guy but we had never talked.  I figured what a coincidence but the more i think about it its crazy how things change when you are no longer a child.

Another example is that I recently contacted a friend of mine from when i was young.  I remember when we would hang out, of course we were about 9 or 10 at the time, so hanging out was not the what it is today.  But none the less he moved and after about 16 years I finally decided to find him.  Sure enough after a little digging I found a hopeful email and sure enough it worked.  Now we are talking again and its cool.  I cant believe that after all this time we caught up.  

I know this all sounds a little gay and sappy but its true.  People go through life and they think that they have their clique and their jobs and weekly adventures but they don't seem to remember how they got there.  Now i don't want it to seem like you should dwell on the past but just remember what lead you to this place.  I just never took the time to really pay attention i guess.  Ok well enough of this crap.  Too many tangents to digress to.  In the future i will try to refrain from the in depth things.  

So yesterday we released a special marketing campaign with Sports Illustrated by skinning a plane with a pic of a very hot model.  From what i have heard it will be on for about a month.  Apparently there are many people who feel this is not tasteful and very shameful of us to put up.  I guess i can understand the comments and frustrations.  It wouldn't be fair of me to dismiss the people as idiots.  But i will say that I don't understand the people who are just plain hateful of the whole situation.  After reading comments on the Southwest blog and Dallas Morning News i cant believe how mean some people are.  I guess its a sign of the times.    Not to say that I'm as saint or anything but i guess I am just much more accepting of things.  Perhaps its my age or the times that I grew up in but I cant see why that is such a bad thing.  If you look at TV or movies there is violence and sex left and right and now one ever says anything about those, its just considered art.  Oh well, fuck it i guess.  People can say what they want.  The main reason it pisses me off is because people call into our offices bitching and it just makes no sense.  Rant done......

On other news, I will be moving soon and its not soon enough.  Though the new place is right down the street i feel like I'm moving across the country.  But as stressed as I am, I just want it to be done with.  What I'm happy about is I have a lot of new things, so i don't have to move as much shit.  Much of it is going to friends or family and some is going to good will.  Once its all said and done I think I will feel much better.  

Well another day down, many more to go.....................

First time in....

So, this is my first official post on this thing.  I dont think that many of my ideas will really matter to alot of people but i guess I dont care really.  Most of my posts will probly contain movie reviews or music reviews or just random thoughts about life and work.  Today will just be this though.  I will be moving soon so I may not have alot of time for this.  Once that is done though I will make it a point to be back.  This is adios for now though................