Thursday, November 12, 2009

The hurdles in life

So, today was not the best of days. Have you ever just had one where its going along fine and dandy and all those little nagging things that are in the back of your head come to the forefront and wont leave you alone? When it weighs like a brick on your mind and begins to make all things difficult? Today was that day and I was unable to control it. I dont like that fact that I cannot even control my own thoughts and emotions and that I am such a stupid fuck to be stressed about half this shit. I have a great job, a good family, and many great great friends to rely on. I have it all. I dont ask for monetary wealth or emotional pampering, but I do need the simple things in life. I cannot understand why no matter what I do it still seems to bend me over and screw me.
Have you also had a friend, who is a great great friend that listens and shares and you are practically brothers, and then not of his own accord, he has to hide something from you for a good reason. But he lies to your face to do it. When it all comes full circle it makes you feel happy for the final result but there is always the backstabbing feeling that he lied to you. I had that to add a cherry on my beautiful shit sundae.
Overall, this day has sucked. I am wanting to know if i will have a new job, I want for those that like to reciprocate, and I want things to be back to normal. I have not been able to say anything is fun anymore and I cannot deal with all the crap that comes to me on a daily basis. I good enough to do sup callback, technical questions, I can even handle other special projects but when it comes to my calls and my work ethic its apparently lacking some.
Perhaps its just me but I am just pissed and sad all in the same go. I have not felt like this in a very long time, and the fact that I was so upset that I actually cried is testiment to that fact. I have not done that in a long time. Enough of my tyrade and I apologize for anyone who had to sit through it all....

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